Raise Your Standards |
If boundaries are our requirements for the behavior of others toward us, standards are our requirements for our own behavior.
What do we expect of ourselves? How will we conduct ourselves in the world?
Standards help define a sense of who we are and what we stand for. Raising our standards helps us feel good about ourselves. It also helps our lives work better.
What do we expect of ourselves? How will we conduct ourselves in the world?
Standards help define a sense of who we are and what we stand for. Raising our standards helps us feel good about ourselves. It also helps our lives work better.
My Story
As I healed and started rebuilding my foundation, I started changing. I got my act together. I began feeling better about myself. I started evaluating what was working in my life and what wasn’t.
But, something wasn’t right. I came to realize that my physical environment was the problem. It didn’t fit with my internal self anymore. Inside, I was feeling clean and clear. Outside, my office and house were cluttered.
I raised my standard. This became my new standard:
My external environment will support a sense of peace and clarity.
This required making big changes. I threw out clutter and made room. I organized. I beautified. What a huge difference! My energy shifted due to my external surroundings.
If you want to elevate your quality of life, raising your standards is a great first step.
But, something wasn’t right. I came to realize that my physical environment was the problem. It didn’t fit with my internal self anymore. Inside, I was feeling clean and clear. Outside, my office and house were cluttered.
I raised my standard. This became my new standard:
My external environment will support a sense of peace and clarity.
This required making big changes. I threw out clutter and made room. I organized. I beautified. What a huge difference! My energy shifted due to my external surroundings.
If you want to elevate your quality of life, raising your standards is a great first step.
Our Walk Together - Questions and Answers
Could you give a few examples of standards?
Sure. But, please remember, these will be different for everyone. You have to decide what your standards are.
How does having high standards fit in with healing from child sexual abuse?
I believe there is a definite link. Our self-image was damaged by the abuse we endured. We got the message that we were not worth respecting, therefore not deserving of having high standards. Setting and maintaining standards can go a long way toward helping restore our self-respect.
Sure. But, please remember, these will be different for everyone. You have to decide what your standards are.
- I am on time for all client appointments.
- I exercise regularly.
- I eat a diet that is healthy for me.
- I only stay in environments that are safe.
- I keep a reserve of money that enables me to choose which clients I accept.
- I have the support services I need to allow me to do only the things I love to do.
How does having high standards fit in with healing from child sexual abuse?
I believe there is a definite link. Our self-image was damaged by the abuse we endured. We got the message that we were not worth respecting, therefore not deserving of having high standards. Setting and maintaining standards can go a long way toward helping restore our self-respect.
Action Steps
Ask yourself:
Write your standards.
Here’s an important note. Make sure your standards are something you really want. Don’t make them a “should” or an “ought.” Don’t make them what somebody else’s standards are. If you don’t really want them, you won’t uphold them and you’ll feel bad about yourself as a result. That’s not the goal we want here. We want standards that help us feel great about who we are. Never, ever use standards as a way to beat yourself up.
- What’s working and what’s not working in my life?
- What is something I still do that is no longer consistent with whom I am?
- In what areas could my life use an upgrade?
- What is one thing I could do that would make me feel dramatically better about myself?
Write your standards.
Here’s an important note. Make sure your standards are something you really want. Don’t make them a “should” or an “ought.” Don’t make them what somebody else’s standards are. If you don’t really want them, you won’t uphold them and you’ll feel bad about yourself as a result. That’s not the goal we want here. We want standards that help us feel great about who we are. Never, ever use standards as a way to beat yourself up.
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Copyright 2006 Journey Publishing LLC |
